Enlightenment and Laundry
What is enlightenment, and why did it become this state of endless peace?
The current pop-culture spiritual definition paints enlightenment as a guru living alone in the forest, meditating for 23 hours a day while someone else handles the daily chores that make such isolation possible.
But that’s not enlightenment. That’s isolation masquerading as a spiritual ideal—one that’s out of reach for most people.
Can you be enlightened while living a normal life with kids, dogs, grumpy partners, a full-time job, and two weeks of vacation a year? My answer is a solid yes—absolutely, it’s possible; not only possible, but doable.
Let’s be clear about what enlightenment is—and what it’s not.
It’s not some place you finally arrive, a mystical “5D” reality, or an altered state where nothing you dislike ever happens. It’s not isolation, perfection, guru status, or a permanent meditative trance. Those ideas might sell retreats and books, but they don’t reflect the reality most people live in.
Enlightenment is presence maintained in the middle of a normal life. It’s finding inner peace in the chaos. It’s self-awareness earned and refined through the ongoing process of understanding yourself in your daily experiences. It’s responding instead of reacting, holding your center when life spins around you, and seeing clearly beneath fear, story, and conditioning. It’s letting go of the need to control others, living in alignment with your values without needing approval or permission, and meeting challenges with curiosity instead of defensiveness. It’s finding stillness without withdrawing from life.
I call it integrated enlightenment. It’s enlightenment—or “presence,” as Eckhart Tolle calls it—practiced at the kitchen table in the middle of homework and making dinner. I know it’s possible because I live it—not in some perfect, untouchable way, but in the middle of everyday life. My kitchen table is surrounded by dogs, kids, half-finished cups of coffee, and conversations that don’t always go smoothly. I’ve had to learn to hold my center when life spins around me, not by escaping it, but by staying in it.
I’m not special. I’m just one person who discovered that presence isn’t reserved for monks or gurus. If I can do it here, so can you. And the reality is, many people already are—they just don’t call it enlightenment.
The truth is, it is enlightenment—a practical, integrated version of something normally reserved for monks and gurus. You don’t have to abandon your life or stop participating in it. All you really have to do is find bits of time to understand yourself better. When you’re in the middle of laundry and putting the kids’ toys away, finding that time is often the hardest part.
If you take a moment after the kids go to bed, or before everyone gets up in the morning, to reflect on your reaction to that conversation that didn’t go so well, that becomes a spiritual practice—one that leads to integrated enlightenment.
When you’re trying to heal yourself in the middle of your own life, it takes longer, it’s messier, and it won’t always go smoothly. It’s also one of the best training grounds you’ll ever have. It’s easy to find inner peace when you’re alone in a cave. It’s harder when your kids are locked in a shouting match over a plastic dinosaur. But that’s the real work—staying calm, not because you’re ignoring them, but because you don’t need to live from every spike of irritation. And when you do that—when you stay present in the middle of the chaos—you’re practicing the kind of enlightenment that allows you to keep your life and your peace intact.
Love to all.
Della